Pruning

Do you ever think about pruning? I did some of it this morning. Finished up my back yard and now it looks clean cut, orderly, pretty, like someone takes pride in this yard, and most of all someone made it so things can grow better and be healthier.
Once in a while we need pruning. My personal life gets all cluttered with junk I brought on my self. But it finally gets so hectic I have to set down and start cutting ties to certain projects and people. Why do I do this to myself? What's even worse is I keep repeating the process.....isn't that a definition of insanity?
So, the word for the day is 'Pruning'....when your life is in chaos think about a little pruning job on yourself. If your really up for a great pruning job to be done on you allow the 'THE MASTER' (Jesus) to prune you. This is done by spending a little daily time in the word so it can cut all that clutter out of your mind, soul, and spirit. It works! By the way I had to let him prune on me some this morning after I got done with the yard.
You know the old saying...'What's good for the goose is good for the gander'. When was the last time you allowed God's word a few minutes of your day to set things right for you???? God bless and have a great day...I WILL!

BANG! July 4th, 2009

Thanks to our creator for allowing us to have this holiday to celebrate the FREEDOM that many people on this earth know nothing about.
It rained about 2 inches here late last night but not until some people in the neighborhood set off lots of fireworks. It was banging and booming all around and my little Jack Russell was going bonkers with the noise. Then the poor guy got hit with lightning, thunder and rain.....you can imagine his take on the holiday.ahaha
So what are you going to do today! Maybe you'll have family in or you'll go out and do something....whatever, be sure to journal and maybe try and sketch. Allow yourself to relax in the moment.
The last blog was about renewing and by allowing yourself to shed yesterday and tomorrow you can be in the present and relax with the now....get that healing and peace (Shalom) that we all need. Shalom is a term that means 'total peace' in every area and in every way of your life.
I'm going to post my newest painting from some sketches I did on our vacation in northern New Mexico.
God bless
SHALOM
Ricky

Renewing ?

Just what is renewing to you? It could be several things but I can only speak for myself. As a christian it means a renewing of my mind with the word of God. By doing this on a daily basis it becomes more and I become less. So what does that do for me and you?
When the mind gets renewed (whether positive or negative criteria) the body will follow suit....wow! So if I want positive things I must ingest positive food and this causes healing mentally, physically and spiritually.
This not only effects me but my environment around me due to the law of reciprocation. Some of you may know this law in a different term such as...' what goes around comes around'.
So my goal today is to get you to ponder on these things and believe by taking action and watch things change for you. If you don't have this kind of material I would suggest the book of John in the New Testament of the bible.
When I was on vacation and viewing all the sights of God's creation it was a healing experience in every way.....so much positive to think upon and renew my mind. One such thought was..'how can anyone look upon these mountains and trees, skies, birds singing and flying around, the beautiful wildflowers and not believe that there is a supreme designer somewhere'. This did not all happen by chance and in my case I call that designer God of the bible.
God bless
Happy trails til we meet again.......I'm off to write and draw. You do the same.

I'm BACK!

Hey fellow friends.......I'm back from a glorious vacation. WOWOW! We took off on a Friday, the day after getting unplugged from chemo. I made it to Trinadad, Colorado from Kansas City. That night, laying in bed, I said "Lord what have I done here?" I was fighting diahrhea, fatigue and wondering why I thought I could make a trip this far from home. But I wanted to go back to where we feel at home...Taos, New Mexico.
We were getting ready to move there, a little over two years ago, when I was diagnosed with this demon. So everything was put on hold and here we are today. But GOD is good and I made to Taos finally. After two of three days the chemo started to reside and I was feeling better day by day. In fact by the time we were leaving I was feeling the best I had ever felt in a long time.
This trip was the best medicine in a long time for me.
I stopped off in Cimarron and saw some artist friends and now I have to do a one or two week workshop next June for the art community there. So....God willing I will return and do this.
I sketched and took a ton of photos for painting reference in the future. You'll get to see some of these as the weeks go along.
Out of all this I found out I need to push myself more physically and HOW much you guys mean to me. You guys wrote some wonderful comments under the last two blogs and I thank each of you and especially for your prayers.
Art and journaling is such a healing gift given to us and we should all take more advantage of it.
God bless each of you and I'll start blogging again soon and welcome to all our new followers....please feel welcomed to comment because this site is about you. GOD BLESS....LOL

Learning

Learning is a growing process........so if we aren't learning we are not growing and if we aren't growing we eventually start decaying. WOW! Can you handle that statement? Are you guilty of putting off that awkwardness of trying something new?
I am talking about this process of journaling and doodling/art. Ask yourself why you haven't started yet or started and stopped? Is it to hard to start something new or is it..."I don't know that I believe what's being said here."
All of the above is a process we go through so it is all good...it is when you stop striving for the answers or process. It's hard to do something that is good for us....better food, more exercise, setting time aside for yourself, and in reality all of these not only benefit you but benefit those around you like a rock into a pond and the ripple effect it causes.
I pray you will get going with something that will help heal you mentally, spiritually and physically.
Choose you today what you will do.
God bless

Congratulations Captn Elaine !

Congratulations to Elaine, a follower of this blog, for her second anniversary since her bout with kidney cancer JUNE 4th. Elaine we are so happy for you and are praying for your continued health and healing in this area.
Elaine is a journaling and artist person. You can go to her flickr account and see all kinds of great stuff.
Some of you have read some comments she leaves at different times. We welcome all of these from all of you. This is a community we are trying to build here that will enhance all of our lives one day at a time and one journal at a time.
Click on Elaines picture under followers in the side bar and go to her places. You can do this with most any of our followers. Thanks guys.

Irish Gentleman

Irish Gentleman
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

Hey Gang,
Here's a sketch that anyone can do...........by that I mean there are people around us all the time. Ask them to pose for 5 minutes. You'll find out that over time you will get faster and learn what you need to look for to make a picture. Concentrate first on a specific element such as the eyes or nose, mouth etc.. Just practice the parts and then practice putting them together.........TRUST ME it will work for you. More on this in a later blog.
Great day again and we had storms overnight but if it wasn't that it would be drought so go figure....thank GOD for taking care of us.
Now get out there and write, doodle, paint, draw and send some comments this way so we know how we are doing. GOD BLESS

Journaling Affirmations

Hey gang,
It's Sunday and we just got home from church....what a glorious day on my side of the planet.
The message was on saying things, rather positive or negative, that will affect us and our situations. In Proverbs 18:20 scripture says that Life and Death are in the tongue........wow! So think about that and meditate on what comes out of our mouths and what do we write in our journals is important. We must capture our thoughts to our benefit.
Dr Dwayne Dyer says we can change anything with our thinking correctly if we put belief behind it....faith some would say. As a christian I believe the scriptures to be truth so I have to agree with Dr Dyer. Many of our art therapy professionals say the same thing but maybe in different words, staying away from the religious aspects of this. But however we word it, the truth of it is not negated.
With that said let us pick up our journals and write what needs to get out of us, but then make sure we end with affirmations for ourselves about those conditions. For example I write about my treatments and may have had a rough week but end with the affirmation that I am getting stronger daily and try to describe myself healthy......then visualing seeing myself healthy, as described and going about my business. Dr Dyer saids this is most important the last 5 minutes prior to falling off to sleep. This allows the subconscious to dwell on the positive all night and not the problems. Our subconscious doesn't know truth except has we relate it to our minds. So our thoughts and affirmations should be on the positive and not the negative because soon the body follows the mind.
Don't ask me how this all works........all I know is it does and there's lots of years of proof of it even in the bible.
Hoped this was informative and not preachy.....God bless and let us hear from you.
See a picture of the little watercolor palette and brush I use for my doodling and painting.

Faith?

How many of you trust this journaling thing? Well let me talk about this for a minute. When you walk into a room and proceed to sit in a chair, you don't give it a second thought that it will hold you up.....WHY? Because of experience of sitting in chairs and they have worked for you. Now there may have been that rare instance that a chair leg has broken off or you tipped over, but other than that you trust them.
This trust did not come except for your experience in this area. The same is with journaling and art.....You must get started and build the frequency of doing it before you can take notice that there is a change starting to happen inside of you that will finally come out and change your very environment. WOW that was a mouth full.
You must motivate yourself in the beginning with EXPECTANCY that journaling is going to perform for you and others and has and is right now. Let me say it this way. Expectancy of change or hope thru journaling is the gasoline that motivation is propelled by. Out of the doing comes the experience or trust in journaling [like the chair]. After a short while the whole thing will increase you Faith in what we are trying to promote on this site....journaling for healing. Your faith then takes over and actually increases the outcome of the process.
In other words....YOU have to start pushing the car to go and the inertia you have to overcome at the beginning will be strenous...BUT...once that car is moving it doesn't take much effort to keep it rolling.
I hope all of this makes sense and I am writing on the process of journaling because of some comments that came up on another site.
While mentioning comments be sure and post yours.........what you think about the above...your experience....how is your journaling going.....any questions about the art side...??
Remember you don't have to have had cancer to comment on this site....all are welcomed....cancer is just what is in the title of this site and is my ailment at this time. There are many ailments just as bad...so weigh in with your thoughts for day or questions. Tell your story right below this blog if you want.
Now get out there and get some healing going. Next we may chat on stress and how journaling helps in this area.
God bless and I leave with a line from one of my heroes..ROY ROGERS'...."Happy Trails To YOU Until We Meet Again".

BLessing for YOU!

Just yesterday we were writing about 'Choice', basically changing our thinking and attitude in a shorter time span. WHY?, because things change when we do.
We should always be LOOKING UP for things to happen to us in a good way. Have an aire of expectancy at all times for the good in our situation and our fellow man.
I woke up this morning to a great blessing to you and me. Chris Beck, a renowned artist, wrote about this site on her blog. WOW!
Since we are a new blog this benefits us all to get the word out. So people can learn what we are about and come together as a community that shares and cares.
I personally want to thank Chris for this.As you go to her blog and look at all the beautiful things she is doing leave a comment and become a follower. To own one of her paintings and be able to sit and meditate on it daily would bring great joy to your spirit. Her colors and composition are beyond believable. The blog title is "I'm painting as fast as I can." and the article title is "Journaling Through Cancer".
Please check out the comments under the article also, they are precious. Remember again, this site is not about me but US....your participation through comments and your art. Please leave comments and again please thank Chris for what she has done here. It was no small measure.
It's a sunny day and all is well.....amen. Now get those journals out and write about whatever or how this blog and Chris' blog has affected you.....then doodle something or draw a picture. If you use color, think about what colors and temperature we would want to express a wonderful experience such as this.
Please share this site with as many people as possible. The more input the better. I'm leaving a picture of mine for today. The primary colors show how I feel.
God Bless.

The Goldfinch

Yes I was doing my plein aire painting and kept looking at this tree....."did someone put christmas ornaments on the tree?" No, as my eyes got adjusted it was a whole HERD OF AMERICAN GOLDFINCH! I had never seen that many in my life. What a blessing that was....all I could do was stare and get my binoculars out. Thank GOD the sun wasn't playing tricks on my old eyes. This is a watercolor approximately 12" X 18"...140 pound cold press paper. Enjoy.
My question to you is........"Are you journaling yet?" I'm waiting for your responses and some followers before I go much farther into ideas etc. for writing. God bless.

Journaling

What a beautiful Saturday.....the wife and I took a day trip to check out some art. This old historic town is having artisans around the square every second saturday of the month.
Some were weaving and some painting. Not many there yet because of early summer yet but it will grow. This is there second year for it and were had a good time walking around and even going in some of the old stores.
These older towns that aren't very big have a tough time of it. It's good to be able to use the arts as a possible platform to draw people there. But people must remember to support them or they can't keep coming back.
We got back and sunshine and trip had me up and rearing to do some art. So playing around I came across a full size, 15" X 22", watercolor I did in Colorado before coming down ill. This was at about the 10,000 ft level. It was beautiful up there. So I hope you enjoy the art and think about what is written here. This is journaling....YES YOU CAN DO IT! God bless

Chemo Treatment

Well here I am again with a chemo week. I was in the chair for 4 hours yesterday and I 'm wearing the pump until tomorrow. Can't wait to get it off.....if you know what I mean. They did a blood test yesterday for tumor markers in the blood stream, I think they call it CEA. Anyway it comes back tomorrow and we'll get the results. The number has been rising which we don't want. Nothing I can do about it except believe GOD to give me the Grace to deal with it...and HE always has and will. That's one of the nice things about being a christian. Tomorrow is another day. Please feel free to comment and tell us your viewpoints on things.
You don't have to have cancer or had it. We welcome those who are or have been caregivers and anyone who wants to share a comment that will benefit us all. God bless.

Daisy of a House

What a day for a daydream.........Rained most of the day and still raining. But God is good so I worked on my journal. Did you work on yours? Have you gotten the material I told you to get? If not, maybe tomorrow.....but get with it soon.
I'm going to show a drawing with watercolor I worked on today. It's approximately 11 X 15". It is an old house outside of town that my wife's great, great grandfather built. Unfortunately the owners are letting it fall in but the character of the house is good for art.
There were daisies in the ditch so I incorporated them into the painting to spruce it up like a bouquet on your table top. Notice there are only the color yellow and the rest are grays and black in pen. It doesn't take much material to make a sketch/painting. It just depends on how far you want to take it.
Please remember to leave your comments and questions. This is a healing process when it comes to the creative process. Go for it. God bless........ Ricky

Beautiful DAY.......Tuesday

What a beautiful around here and I feel a lot better than I have in the past week. I think the diahrhea has let up and hopefully the soreness that comes with it. Its been raining the last couple of days but GOD is good to give us this mild Tuesday...39 degrees waking up and suppose to be 68 in the late afternoon.
Today I must do some of my art, got to make a living, and blog on some other sites. By the way I blog on "Sketching Nature".
You should sign up as a follower of the site or of my spot on there. This would notify you when things are blogged and how professional journaling is done. On that site the correspondents, like myself, are from around the world and it is strictly a nature site. You'll see some of the top artists, naturalist etc in the world on there and go also to there web sites to learn. I need to get to work now. How is your journal doing? God bless your day.

Tips on Journaling

God is so good to us. I woke up this morning and the diahrhea is gone after a week. When you have a stoma [colostomy] you just can't imagine how bad this one thing can affect you. Thank God some of you don't.
So what's the best way to start journaling or the HOW-TO? Get yourself a hardbound sketchbook at Barnes and Noble or one of those book stores. The reason I say sketchbook is the lack of lines it presents. This allows you the freedom to roam on the page if you want to doodle you won't be restricted. Size of this book really doesn't matter because everyone likes something different.
Next is to get an ink pen that won't smear with water. Most don't but double check it with a little spit on the finger. If you like color, grab yourself a small set of colored pencils. They are inexpensive and last a long time. Fun is what it is all about.
Now when you get the material the life change begins. This journal is for you.....unless you care to share. It's not something you use for writing a book but for sharing your world and thoughts through the eyes GOD has given you. Let those pent up feelings or thoughts come out. Example could be......... While sitting in the hospital waiting room describe the people around you or their conversations if it is hearable. Try doodling parts of the room or people. No one expects you to be Rembrandt or Walt Whitman, so go for it. Remember it is the process that is the healing for you and what comes out, if shared, can even heal us.
So today get your materials needed. Maybe take a marker and make it personal to you with your name. You can put stickers on it. I've even seen some that are decopaged and some that have had beautiful dress material glued to them. The sky is the limit........now go forth and have a blessed day. God bless.

In The Beginning__Before Diagnosis

It was late Saturday evening, December 8th, 2007. I had just finished studying my bible lesson for the following morning. Bible teaching is something I enjoy doing and have done for years and some preaching in years long ago.
Suddenly I had to go to the bathroom and there is where my world changed. There was blood starting to show up in the stool and this made me think I must be getting hemorrhoids. Then, like a faucet being opened, blood just started gushing.
I couldn't get it to stop! All I could do was watch the stool fill up.
Instantly my whole essence was saying, "This is not right!" With my brain racing a million miles per hour there was not one thought that would help. Then, looking at the floor, I knew what was changing and that this was it. You know, the moment you leave this world.
Slowly I slid off the stool to the floor and layed my head down. Looking at the tile before my eyes it dawned on me that I was actually starting to embrace this weird phenomenon.
With no concept of time and space I found myself somewhere that was not on earth. Do I dare say it was heaven? Can I say out loud I saw the bright light? How strange also, this something that was happening to me, felt ok.
It was the most delightful incident in my entire life, bar none. I died at that moment in time and came back.
You see, I forgot to tell you that from dying that Saturday night and when I got to the hospital, 4 days had passed. (That is another story you won't believe)
Doctors have asked me all about this dying experience and I will share more with you later.

Diagnosis__Welcome to Hell

Let me start by telling you I was told December 13th, 2007 that they found two tumors in the colon and both cancerous. It was stage IV advanced and the tumors were at the sigmoid and the rectum area. Along with this it had metastasized to the liver. Their words were, "Mr. Holtman we used to send people home in your situation but we have a couple of new medicines we'll try and at least help the pain."
Since that time,in the beginning, I had 6 weeks of radiation everyday and chemo everyday at the same time.
I lost 78 lbs during that time and any dignity I had. Every test imaginable was given and some twice. Then surgery on April 3rd, 2008 for approximately 4 hours by two surgeons.
Two tumors, Gall Bladder, liver biopsy, and one colostomy later I was out of surgery. Oh yes, they lost me several times in recovery.
I forgot that I also had to go back and get the Porta Catheder put in my chest, which I still use. The reason I still use this is because I go in every 14 days for chemo.
This happens on a Tuesday for 5 to 6 hours and then the pump is hooked to me that pumps 24/7 for the next 3 days. When it beeps I go back to the clinic and get it removed and look forward to what days I have left before this starts all over again. I'll share side effects at a later date.
The real story, which you wouldn't believe, is all the stuff I have left out. It will be coming out in book form around the first of 2010. You'll get a lot of laughs and gasps from all that has gone on. God has been so good to me.
The doctors can't figure out how I am still here, But I know and I'll tell you.

Introduction to Site

Hello to everyone that may come across my blog. This blog is for cancer survivors and their healing and well being. This will be done through introducing journaling, with and without art, to you and how it is helping thousands to heal.
I am not new to writing or journaling, especially with art and words together. Writing and the combination of your drawings are not new to journals. Both together or separate are acceptable. NO, you do not have to be an artist for this blog but hopefully I can get you to maybe get out of your comfort zone and start writing and maybe start illustrating your story for the healing of yourself and others.
As I proceed with my new blog there will be many times you will see my art and my sketchbook. With any luck the art from friends of mine and hopefully your art will show up here someday.
Yes, I will get into my walk with this cancer they say I have and share my story.
Your comments are welcomed and your viewpoint.........I only ask that there be no profanity etc., this would not be beneficial to any of us or in line with this blog.
Hearing from all of you cancer survivors out there would be a blessing and a gift for all who may come across this blog. Cancer surviving artists, journalists please comment and help out here in your own special way.
As I said earlier I will share my thoughts about what is working for me and is working for others. By no means is this the absolute or the only way for anyone.........just a way. Your healing would be the greatest gift that could come from this blog or to hear the blog is helping you to walk through this trying time.
I pray the testimonies will grow as time goes along.
If something is shared by someone that I deem not appropriate I will delete it. Please do not take offense but this is a blog I take serious and I will try to defend it.