Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Daisy of a House

What a day for a daydream.........Rained most of the day and still raining. But God is good so I worked on my journal. Did you work on yours? Have you gotten the material I told you to get? If not, maybe tomorrow.....but get with it soon.
I'm going to show a drawing with watercolor I worked on today. It's approximately 11 X 15". It is an old house outside of town that my wife's great, great grandfather built. Unfortunately the owners are letting it fall in but the character of the house is good for art.
There were daisies in the ditch so I incorporated them into the painting to spruce it up like a bouquet on your table top. Notice there are only the color yellow and the rest are grays and black in pen. It doesn't take much material to make a sketch/painting. It just depends on how far you want to take it.
Please remember to leave your comments and questions. This is a healing process when it comes to the creative process. Go for it. God bless........ Ricky

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Beautiful DAY.......Tuesday

What a beautiful around here and I feel a lot better than I have in the past week. I think the diahrhea has let up and hopefully the soreness that comes with it. Its been raining the last couple of days but GOD is good to give us this mild Tuesday...39 degrees waking up and suppose to be 68 in the late afternoon.
Today I must do some of my art, got to make a living, and blog on some other sites. By the way I blog on "Sketching Nature".
You should sign up as a follower of the site or of my spot on there. This would notify you when things are blogged and how professional journaling is done. On that site the correspondents, like myself, are from around the world and it is strictly a nature site. You'll see some of the top artists, naturalist etc in the world on there and go also to there web sites to learn. I need to get to work now. How is your journal doing? God bless your day.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Tips on Journaling

God is so good to us. I woke up this morning and the diahrhea is gone after a week. When you have a stoma [colostomy] you just can't imagine how bad this one thing can affect you. Thank God some of you don't.
So what's the best way to start journaling or the HOW-TO? Get yourself a hardbound sketchbook at Barnes and Noble or one of those book stores. The reason I say sketchbook is the lack of lines it presents. This allows you the freedom to roam on the page if you want to doodle you won't be restricted. Size of this book really doesn't matter because everyone likes something different.
Next is to get an ink pen that won't smear with water. Most don't but double check it with a little spit on the finger. If you like color, grab yourself a small set of colored pencils. They are inexpensive and last a long time. Fun is what it is all about.
Now when you get the material the life change begins. This journal is for you.....unless you care to share. It's not something you use for writing a book but for sharing your world and thoughts through the eyes GOD has given you. Let those pent up feelings or thoughts come out. Example could be......... While sitting in the hospital waiting room describe the people around you or their conversations if it is hearable. Try doodling parts of the room or people. No one expects you to be Rembrandt or Walt Whitman, so go for it. Remember it is the process that is the healing for you and what comes out, if shared, can even heal us.
So today get your materials needed. Maybe take a marker and make it personal to you with your name. You can put stickers on it. I've even seen some that are decopaged and some that have had beautiful dress material glued to them. The sky is the go forth and have a blessed day. God bless.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

In The Beginning__Before Diagnosis

It was late Saturday evening, December 8th, 2007. I had just finished studying my bible lesson for the following morning. Bible teaching is something I enjoy doing and have done for years and some preaching in years long ago.
Suddenly I had to go to the bathroom and there is where my world changed. There was blood starting to show up in the stool and this made me think I must be getting hemorrhoids. Then, like a faucet being opened, blood just started gushing.
I couldn't get it to stop! All I could do was watch the stool fill up.
Instantly my whole essence was saying, "This is not right!" With my brain racing a million miles per hour there was not one thought that would help. Then, looking at the floor, I knew what was changing and that this was it. You know, the moment you leave this world.
Slowly I slid off the stool to the floor and layed my head down. Looking at the tile before my eyes it dawned on me that I was actually starting to embrace this weird phenomenon.
With no concept of time and space I found myself somewhere that was not on earth. Do I dare say it was heaven? Can I say out loud I saw the bright light? How strange also, this something that was happening to me, felt ok.
It was the most delightful incident in my entire life, bar none. I died at that moment in time and came back.
You see, I forgot to tell you that from dying that Saturday night and when I got to the hospital, 4 days had passed. (That is another story you won't believe)
Doctors have asked me all about this dying experience and I will share more with you later.

Diagnosis__Welcome to Hell

Let me start by telling you I was told December 13th, 2007 that they found two tumors in the colon and both cancerous. It was stage IV advanced and the tumors were at the sigmoid and the rectum area. Along with this it had metastasized to the liver. Their words were, "Mr. Holtman we used to send people home in your situation but we have a couple of new medicines we'll try and at least help the pain."
Since that time,in the beginning, I had 6 weeks of radiation everyday and chemo everyday at the same time.
I lost 78 lbs during that time and any dignity I had. Every test imaginable was given and some twice. Then surgery on April 3rd, 2008 for approximately 4 hours by two surgeons.
Two tumors, Gall Bladder, liver biopsy, and one colostomy later I was out of surgery. Oh yes, they lost me several times in recovery.
I forgot that I also had to go back and get the Porta Catheder put in my chest, which I still use. The reason I still use this is because I go in every 14 days for chemo.
This happens on a Tuesday for 5 to 6 hours and then the pump is hooked to me that pumps 24/7 for the next 3 days. When it beeps I go back to the clinic and get it removed and look forward to what days I have left before this starts all over again. I'll share side effects at a later date.
The real story, which you wouldn't believe, is all the stuff I have left out. It will be coming out in book form around the first of 2010. You'll get a lot of laughs and gasps from all that has gone on. God has been so good to me.
The doctors can't figure out how I am still here, But I know and I'll tell you.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Introduction to Site

Hello to everyone that may come across my blog. This blog is for cancer survivors and their healing and well being. This will be done through introducing journaling, with and without art, to you and how it is helping thousands to heal.
I am not new to writing or journaling, especially with art and words together. Writing and the combination of your drawings are not new to journals. Both together or separate are acceptable. NO, you do not have to be an artist for this blog but hopefully I can get you to maybe get out of your comfort zone and start writing and maybe start illustrating your story for the healing of yourself and others.
As I proceed with my new blog there will be many times you will see my art and my sketchbook. With any luck the art from friends of mine and hopefully your art will show up here someday.
Yes, I will get into my walk with this cancer they say I have and share my story.
Your comments are welcomed and your viewpoint.........I only ask that there be no profanity etc., this would not be beneficial to any of us or in line with this blog.
Hearing from all of you cancer survivors out there would be a blessing and a gift for all who may come across this blog. Cancer surviving artists, journalists please comment and help out here in your own special way.
As I said earlier I will share my thoughts about what is working for me and is working for others. By no means is this the absolute or the only way for anyone.........just a way. Your healing would be the greatest gift that could come from this blog or to hear the blog is helping you to walk through this trying time.
I pray the testimonies will grow as time goes along.
If something is shared by someone that I deem not appropriate I will delete it. Please do not take offense but this is a blog I take serious and I will try to defend it.