Journaling Thru Cancer

Thanks!!

2009-11-20T08:57:00.000-08:00

Thanks so much for the uplifting comments. They help me make through the day.
I saw my Oncologist on Tuesday and he has released me from chemo because none of it is working. So I'll just check in once a month with them unless something happens.
My prayer has been of late to take me off chemo and the LORD has done that. I'm very happy and look forward to my future. Keep praying that I get to feeling better the longer I'm off of chemo. Its been two years on December 8th...WOWOW....I can't believe it. GOD IS GOOD!
I don't really remember what feeling descent is like....soon though, very soon.
Let me know how I can help you guys....Most of my time is spent taking care of me, aches and pains etc.
God bless
Ricky

ALIVE!

2009-11-07T06:24:00.000-08:00

WOW! I woke up this morning with new vigor and resolve. Thanks to the Grace of GOD and your prayers and good vibes. Thank You!
I really can't express how great it feels to have a good day or several again. My sleeping in bed is improving....I'm up to about 40 minutes at a time before the pain says get up but it's coming around. I think I'll actually do some art this coming week for the first time in weeks. God is good.
I still don't see my oncologist til the 17th and don't have any idea what the game plan is. My neurapathy is improving along with my appetite. I have to stop losing weight. I pray for you all and thanks for your comments. Everyone is busy with their own lives and I respect that. Let me know if I can be of any help to you guys and thanks again for bearing with me through these tough weeks. It will get better....just a slight hiccup in the highway of life.
God bless
LOL
Ricky

In His Grace

2009-10-31T07:59:00.000-07:00

Wow! I am so sorry that I haven't been able to write to you guys. Life has become busy for me.
After getting a rest from chemo it decided to go into other side effects and I've been dealing with those. GOD IS GOOD! and I am a high maintenance ****** , whatever these days. But things are looking up.
I am now seeing a chiropractor, 3 times a week, for my hips and lower back. They are all screwed up from surgery, way back when, and have just gotten to a very painful spot.
I am getting some relief now but still have long ways to go. Maybe I told you, but I have not slept in a bed in over 3 months due to back pain. The idea of cuddling up in a bed and sleeping is something I pray for soon. Lucky I have a bed because some don't even have that.
Anyway.....truly, all is well but I am so busy with me I have no time for art yet nor my blogging....hang in there.
Your comments are food to my soul. GOD bless each of you and your plans.
Let me know what's happening out there.
LOL
Ricky

My Prayer Answered

2009-10-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

Thank you my friends for prayers and good vibe sending my way. I'm just getting up and going again after quite a few weeks of Yo-Yo land.
I was in to see my doctor yesterday, as usual. He knew all the problems I've been having plus not being able to walk. They had my medicine ready to go and he just looked at me and shook his head. You are looking...???? so I am going to take you off chemo. YEA!!!!!!! My prayer answered .....He thinks my body needs a break, because it's been so long without one.
He said don't come back for a month ....I want to see if your body will build itself back some. I'm on a Z pak for some cold I picked up last week. Anyway God is GOOD!
A whole month off of chemo.....I can't wait. Thanks for praying and keep it up.
I'm sorry I haven't written much but I haven't been feeling well.
Thanks and GOD BLESS
Ricky

Hot Footing it!

2009-10-09T16:56:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang,
Hope all is well with you. I am just checking in to let you know I'm still around and so are my side effects. The doctor ordered some more medicine today to offset some of the effects....will see.
This time it's my feet. They are so sore on the bottoms I can't hardly walk.....I look like someone trying to walk across hot coals..hahaha. But soon this will pass as does all things.....it's just a waiting game.
Not doing much art yet for taking care of me....I told you I'm high maintenance. hahaha.
God bless
Ricky

God's Cathedral

2009-10-06T07:47:00.000-07:00

Glad to be back where I can say hello again on this computer. Yes I have been in the woods, held up in a two room cabin for a few days....I call this God's Cathedral. It's so beautiful with all the birds, deer, bear and yes even ferral pigs, some people know them by the name razorbacks.
Starting out I almost didn't make it to the cabin because of side effects but we did. The 'WE' of course is my faithful companion...my wife Chery. Then day by day and drawing by drawing I came back much better than when I left. I just had to get in tune with my spirit and my God's Spirit. Now that I've revitalized all the old juices I may be able to go a few more miles, God willing.
I pray all is well with you........thanks for thinking of me while gone and please let me hear from you.
LOL
Ricky

Changing colors

2009-09-29T11:28:00.000-07:00

Another visit today with my doctor. He is cutting back on the chemo pills to see if it will straighten me out some. GOD only knows how much I would love to get past this. Anyway all else looks good and I praise the LORD for that. Just wanted you to know. I'll be out of email for a few days again but this time to go and paint where the trees are turning colors and I may also turn colors..hhaha. Praying all is well with you guys.
LOL
Ricky

Truth or Consequences

2009-09-23T08:17:00.000-07:00

The air is cool and crisp as it blows across my face. I can't seem to inhale enough of it. It must be my eagerness this early morning to take in all of God's creation....I've always been this way when I feel blessed just to be on this planet and to know what I have come to know as truth. All truth, if practiced, has its consequences. It will either minister to you or against you.
What is your truth and do you take time to contemplate its affect on you and others in your environment? Are you still searching for that truth that some have definitely found and others wish they had? An age old question: How can a black and white cow eat green grass and give us white milk and yellow butter?
The truth is that some things may never get answered to our satisfaction and may jade us to other truths.
I say all these things because I had a friend die recently and the question on his lips was..."Why me?" "What have I done to deserve dying like this?" He had never found the truth of life nor its author.
He was jealous of my truth because of the calm, peace and hope it gives me daily over the decades. But I tried to share my truth with him and he just couldn't receive it as his truth. Life issues can be so illusive and demanding....WHY? you might ask. Because the truth lives in the infinite and we are trying to capture its essence with a finite mind. We must search out and take time to practice a truth and in its proof to us, it is truth, we can decide to willfully submit to it for our benefit or not submit. Consequences either way. But don't wait, like my friend, until time has run its course. Think about it..

LOL
Soli Deo Gloria
Ricky

WOW!

2009-09-21T12:57:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang!
Thanks for all the comments and checking to see where I'm at.....I'm ok..sort of. I've been having some side effect issues with this new chemo but I take my last dose of it tonight and then I have a 7 day interrupt before I go on it again for 14 days.
The doctor and I have had a few conversations this past week over my problems. He's had to stop and start me off and on and take other medicine for the diarrhea and cramping etc..
Sorry I haven't been on the computer to communicate but it's taken all my time to take care of me....hahahaha . I'm a high maintenance individual right now.
God is good though and this is just a little hiccup in the game of life.
I pray all of you have been well and let me know how I can send positive vibes your direction along with a prayer, if you don't mind.
Please keep check on me once in a while....just to make sure I haven't run off to join the circus.
I miss doing my art the most right now.....but soon.
God bless
LOL
Ricky

Sept 8th, 2009

2009-09-08T09:10:00.000-07:00

Well what a day so far! I've been to the Chemo doctor and this was the day he has started me on some chemo pills called Xeloda.
Now the best thing about this is no needle for three days straight. The pills will last 14 days straight (8 each day) and 7 days off and start them again. I really don't know the side effects of this regimen yet but I will keep you updated.
Doc had another tough thing to say and that was....If this doesn't work I don't have anything else for you. Now that's a statement!
I've always believed this to be GOD healed or it would never be and number 2, there comes a time to 'cut bait or fish'. So this is no surprise and my prayers have been to be healed and to be taken off this chemo. My prayer is being answered one way or another. GOD IS GOOD TO ME.
To me this is an exciting time and I get to participate in it. Many of you have similar or worse circumstances. Faith in God is what I rest my day in. My prayers go out to you and please send some up for me. Get out those journals and write or doodle.

"You are faking it..."

2009-09-02T05:36:00.000-07:00

I was accused the other day of faking it. The accusation was..."Every time we ask how you are you say, I'm doing well." Then they went on to inform me I had to be fibbing.
This made me think back to when I was a kid and my Grandma would call me into the house from playing. Grandma would say..."Now get on in there boy and wash everything that shows." hahha I can hear her now. Anyway this statement made me think of faking a bath or anything we do in life and putting on a show for all to see. BUT, let's examine this for a minute.
We all have our beliefs we live with and die with and some may not understand mine or yours. You all know that I am a christian and in the book of James it states, "A double minded person is unstable in all his ways". So instead of just washing what shows, or faking it by telling people I am doing well and lying to them.....I really confess and believe in my mind I am doing well. My body just hasn't caught up with my beliefs/mind.
Everyone knows that the body is led by the mind/head. If I were to say I am well one time and then change 5 minutes later I would appear unstable or double-minded as in the book of James. This does not mean I am in denial of pain etc. BUT I speak more of what's well with me than what isn't. The more my mind hears my positive speech/belief the more it will inform my body of how it should be. A type of reprogramming.
Now I know some of you are going WOW, he is out there today. Trust me when I say that I have practiced this for decades and know for a fact that this works in my behalf more than the alternative of wishy washy language. Wanting to be well but moaning and restating to everyone all your aches and pains does nothing but produces more aches and pains. You talk yourself into miserableness...the mind is leading the body in how it should be. This takes some learning and time to practice and become who you are. So washing what only shows is ok some of the times but we really need that 100% bath, all over, to be totally clean and feeling good. This bath is the quality of thoughts and the renewing of how you think. Call it self talk or selling yourself on how you want to be.
Take your thoughts and drive a standard in the ground and don't waver for nothing. In 2 Corinthians 5:7, it tells the christian to walk by faith and not by sight. My faith is in God and what HE has done and is doing for me. This is by belief and I get my thoughts renewed to this along with my speech. Mys speech is such as, how well I look and getting stronger day by day etc.. If others are going to talk about you let them repeat the positive things that you locked and loaded their lips with. I don't see myself sick even though I have pain etc.. I have a healthy of picture of myself in my head and the thinking/thoughts that go with it. Dwell on these things and not the negative. YOU are making a choice. THINK ABOUT IT! God bless..LOL

Guess What ?

2009-08-28T06:56:00.000-07:00

How much can GOD love one person? I know it is infinite because of all HE does for me and others around me. GUESS WHAT? The doctors called yesterday and have a NEW medicine for me to take...not only that but it is pill form so my whole lifestyle should change for the better. Praise the LORD! I won't know until September 8th at my new appointment what is entailed. They want me to recover from this little poisoning event last week...me too! So thanks for all the prayer and continue to keep me on your prayer bench....I'm still in the game, just warming up for the main event...GOD IS GOOD! Have a blessed day...I will...and I am praying for you. LOL

I'm SO BLESSED!

2009-08-27T05:29:00.000-07:00

Yeah! Bravo! I'm the man! I won something!!! You heard it here first...I received a phone call yesterday afternoon from a state watercolor society. (Can't divulge which state yet..sorry). I had entered one of my paintings into their annual national invitational and they informed me I received one of the awards. YEA!
This, of course, comes with a nice little prize package....I'll take all I can get. The reception and opening of the show is still a few weeks away but they wanted me to make plans on trying to be there to receive my award. GOD is good!
It is always nice to win something and it never gets old. I have been very fortunate over the years to receive awards at the larger venues.
Anyway I just wanted to share this good news with my friends and say this has made my day, week or more. I can show you the painting but I can't tell you where it was entered until after the opening reception. Thanks to all of you for comments and may you be blessed as much and more than I in your endeavors...praying for each of you. LOL

8%

2009-08-23T11:10:00.000-07:00

Let's think about this for a minute...please. How great a number is 8 anyway? If we're talking 8 out of 10, it wouldn't be bad or even 8 out of 20 but when we start to get into 8 out of 50 or 8 out of a hundred, it starts to fade quickly ....right. Well they say I have an 8 % chance to live 60 months from time of diagnosis..(December of 07'). So everday I am either burning what daylight I have left and entering into never never land....maybe. Man's ways are not Gods ways...amen.
You and I need a paradigm shift....stay with me on this, please. What about the 92% we haven't mentioned yet!!! ??? WOW! What is being said is they have no chance of even making it the 60 months or near it. SHUT UP! Who is putting all these numbers and percentages out there to sway your mind?
Turning this around makes me happy I have an 8% chance to make it 60 months and longer.....even more important knowing that man can't even get the weather right, with all the stats we have for a century, really makes me get excited and say WHY can't I be in that 8% and once more WHO are they to lay this --------= on me or you? In those famous words..."I'm mad as HELL and I ain't going to take it anymore".! Keep your so called bad news to yourself and If you don't have something good to say to me....DON"T say anything at all..amen. WOW, I think I'm through preaching now but most of you get my point.
Some of these people want to lay these figures on you and I watch most people start to roll over and do as told. WELL, nobody knows the hairs on my head or the days I'll be on this earth except GOD. HE said it and I believe it, end of story.
If any of you are buying their textbook info, be sure you are guarding yourself well with the right outlook, mental and spiritual strength, and surrounding yourself with those who are in your corner to FIGHT to the bitter end. This is about you and not some textbook stats being correct. I've decided not to be in the 8 or the 92! They don't influence me ... I influence them! Let their numbers be changed because of you and me. God bless and THINK about it. LOL

Poisoned !

2009-08-22T15:16:00.000-07:00

WOW WHEE!!! What a roller coaster the last four days have been....thank God it was me it was happening too and not one of you. I wouldn't have wished this on anyone.
Where do I start? Well you know the part about being somewhat sick over the chemo..right? What I didn't say was that Wednesday night I thought I was dying.. for real. It was pain, aches, anguish, angst, nausea, diarrhea and all over walking the floor in the dark all night! I cannot exaggerate enough. This was totally a new set of circumstances, during treatment, than usual. I came so close to ripping that pump needle out of my chest....thank God I didn't.
I found out yesterday, at the clinic, when they were unhooking me and asking were there any unusual things this time....phewf! Being smart mouth I wanted to say..."You mean outside of the nose bleeds, stool bleeding, headache, nausea, steroids racing through my veins so I can't sit still, no appetite or just the food tasting like chalk all the time?" ...but I didn't.
I just looked up and said, "Yeah there are a few things"...and they wanted the description. So , I proceeded to tell them. They finally stopped me in mid paragraph and went to get the Doctor's #1 RN. We started all over and she said, "My gosh! What was going on'? ahahahahahaha! RIGHT! She then proceeded to take blood and tell me to wait for the doc, who I never see when I get unplugged.
Later the RN returned to inform me I had a severe reaction..(HAHAHAHA) and it was a build up of the chemo poison in my system and the new treatment sent my body into a poison shock.....NO ------------! (Can I say that with dashes?). It will take me a few days to bouce back and they were sorry, that it must have been horrible feeling. blah, blah, blah.
So home I went and prayed that somehow God restore my strength and system sooner than later. GOD IS GOOD TO RICKY! I passed out about 3 a.m. and woke about 7:30a.m.....I've never felt more energetic in a long time and it is now 5:32p.m. and I'm still doing good. Thank You LORD.
Now I thank each of you for your support through this and could not have made it as well without you....I MEAN IT! God bless each and let me know when I can do my part on YOUR behalf.....in any way. LOL

Burning the Fog

2009-08-20T08:10:00.001-07:00

Marina Sun
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

Some days are foggier than others but yet if you will give it time the sun will always come through.
I had a foggy day yesterday and last night but I am praising the sun coming through today. The outlook is always different although both hold their own type of beauty.
The hot news about my gene test is I have the wrong one or it has mutated out of control for the chemo they were going to try....so on to the next battle. Doc said the chemo I'm on has stopped working so they're looking for something and for me to hang in there....like I got a choice.ahahaha.
My lungs sounded good to him and the CAT scans showed no new areas plus the tumors on my liver have maybe gotten 5 % bigger which is no big deal. He thinks I look healthy and they just can't figure me out...hahaha....People can't figure God out either and I keep hanging around HIM...so things are good for me.
They decided to go ahead with my regular three day chemo treatment so that I would have at least something in my system. WOW what a night....no sleep due to the steroids in it and I had nausea and all the good stuff......I think I am being poisoned! ahahaha...for those of you who don't know, chemo is poison.
Another day and maybe some rest and I will be good to go and maybe I'll take a ride on one of these boats in the picture.
I paint sometimes from memory when I can't get out of the house and this is one I painted the other day...watercolor. I thought you might enjoy it. GOD bless and thanks for all the prayers and good vibes you are sending my way.

'Tic Toc'

2009-08-17T05:50:00.000-07:00

Are you ever able to close your eyes and hear 'Tic Toc'....maybe it's real quite at first but it's somewhere back there getting louder by the passing hour. Well I started hearing it yesterday....that great count down to Wednesday a.m. when I have another chemo treatment and hear about the CAT scans and DNA test on my genes.
Does this happen often in peoples lives....I think so, or at least in mine. It has gotten louder for me as the years have passed by. It's a good voice as long as we don't allow it to drag us in the negative direction. This is where your friends, community, and faith will play a major roll. Surround yourself with positive thinking people, books, movies and community events. Read often and aloud those things that will benefit your spirit and mind. When you are overflowing with this please share comments here with the rest of us so we can benefit.
Now the big question in my head, outside of the 'Tic Toc', is how am I going to react to the information I receive on Wednesday? Well after writing the above I believe I had better make lemonade out of the good news or make lemonade out of the sour lemons I may be handed. Either way I'm going to have lemonade that will benefit my mind, soul, spirit and body! In other words .... "It's a CHOICE" on our part so DO YOUR PART! Think about it....GOD bless.

Memories

2009-08-14T18:42:00.001-07:00

My Mentor's Style
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

Painting pictures like this are a healing process for me. I've spoken on this subject several times before. When I finished this I thought it would be nice to share it with my friends....YOU.
So get out there and do some journaling or even some art and you'll be blessed for it. GOD BLESS

Zennia Last Day

2009-08-12T13:31:00.001-07:00

Zennia Last Day
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

Loved doing this little watercolor sketch of some dead Zennia in my studio. The colors and texture will make a wonderful larger painting to me. The red ribbon was really a wild card. Enjoy,
Even in their last day they looked pretty to me with the muted colors.

CAT Scan Day

2009-08-11T18:32:00.000-07:00

I arrived at the hospital around 6:30 a.m.. They drew some blood and then off to the races, down the hall to another room. Nurses were the only one there this early in the morning but they did my paperwork and I took a seat.
It's kind of ironic what happened next.....I sat there about 15 minutes and in walks this pretty nurse carrying the normal two big glasses of some ugly stuff to drink, Barium. Just guessing that the pretty nurse is suppose to offset the terrible tasting Barium..ahha. It didn't.
After waiting for 1 hour they called me in and proceeded to do the CAT scans. Of course I had to have iodine shot into my system for contrast so they poked me again with the needle. But this young lady was excellent because I didn't feel a thing. You know I just noticed how many times I use the word 'Young'...ahaha I must be getting old ???
Anyway, after two and one half hours I left and came home. It's been a good day and not many side effects except the diarrhea from the Barium. I saw quite a few people worse off than myself...if that's possible.
I just wanted to keep you updated on my trials. The doctor should tell me some results next Wednesday when I go in for chemo. God bless

Behavior ?

2009-08-10T06:28:00.000-07:00

Everyone in the group seemed nice enough but their behavior was little stoic, staid, or maybe just a relaxed attitude. I felt maybe they all knew something I didn't know. What was this I was sensing.
After listening to the speaker I soon realized that it was their behavior toward one another and the way all of the new people were accepted to the group. Was this for real or some fake kindness? It felt good but yet how can all these people be acting with such unlimited inclusiveness into their circle of influence?
I needed to know how this was happening or what they were going to get out of it. Soon I came to realize that the speaker was speaking on this very subject.... "Your behavior is directly related to the thoughts you conceive....BUT....you will act on only those precepts you truly believe!" Further more these precepts have had to have already been experienced,to know the truth in them, or come from a source you believe is an authority.
So, I am old enough to know some things work and some don't by experience BUT I would love to know a source I could count on and circumvent a lot of mishaps and false starts in my life. The speaker then mentioned that this unlimited love for one another by this group was due to the words and precepts practiced in l Corinthians 13 of the bible. Then it all made sense to me that this group were all christians and were practicing their faith in the highest source of the land, GOD and HIS word.
They had found the Law of Reciprocity (Golden Rule) really works BUT first an individual had to put it in motion. You put out good thoughts you get good thoughts back. This is like planting seeds and waiting for the harvest out in the future. WOW!
I said I can do this!
Now you may know "the rest of the story".....All my blogs, for the most part, are attached to the above truth. Every time you purposely make someone else life better, you are really improving your own. So how about a kind word or act toward some one. This is really about loving one self. By the way....the above speaker was me and the group is my bible study group I teach every week.
Here's my seed planting for the day .....Remember that behavior is directly affected by what we believe....What are you believing in? I truly love all of you out there and from my beliefs, God loves you too. Have a great day.......I will.

Are YOU Drinking the Koolaide ?

2009-08-07T07:10:00.000-07:00

Let's get into that day planner and start making plans. Who knows if any of us are here for another month, year or even tomorrow. So if you have been diagnosed with some ugly thing, and they're all ugly, don't stop living!
If you aren't careful you will drink the Koolaide.........let no one dictate to you how things are going to go. You have a choice in the matter!
Our creator made our bodies to regenerate themselves. Watch a cut heal and hair grow back. Our brain resets itself to help our bodies deal with any new information. The question is.....What information are you feeding it? Are you going to drink the Koolaide and go to the 'Killing Fields' or CHOOSE life? I've chosen life and will not entertain my thoughts, and subject my body, with any other speech and I WILL NOT allow others to entertain me, such as doctors, with their 'Koolaide Diagnosis'. If it isn't helpful don't dump it on my door step! Do for me what you can and I will enact my God given ability to have my body start the healing process. It may take a long time but if I don't waiver neither will the truth. God is good to me and others.
You are what you eat, listen too, look at, speak, and think! Never doubt it...THINK! Meditate on the above and start today with what you know in your heart is truth. Now go make some plans to do something next week, next month, and next year! Fill that day planner up and watch it come about step by step.....we need a purpose in life. Remember the body was made to regenerate itself, skin, nails, hair and etc.., but it cannot heal side effects.

Sweet Summer Rain

2009-08-04T08:26:00.000-07:00

WOW! Early hours of the morning we had a great shower and it still is only in the 70's and it's approaching noon. Glory to God for the air cleaning system He has put into place. I love it.
This morning I was out walking early, early, with my Jack Russell and it was so cool, clean smelling, birds singing and so very refreshing. Every day could start this way for me, if it so be. To get that fragrance of clean in my nostrils takes me back.
Back to when my mom would hang out all the laundry on a clothes line. We had no drier then. After drying I loved to run through them. The sheets billowing in the breeze, and then stick my nose against them to smell.....so clean and refreshing.
I believe it's good to hold on to things that will take you to one of the happy times in your life. One of those things for me is the "Sweet Summer Rain". It takes me home, many years ago. I get refreshed and renewed in my body, soul and spirit. What's yours? God bless and happy trails.

Favoritism is Forbidden

2009-08-02T12:48:00.000-07:00

Great lesson this morning from James chapter 2 of the bible. Playing favorites with people is forbidden! In other words no one is better or more important than others.....we are all equal regardless of gender, physical makeup, monies, education, place of origin, or color of skin.
This got me thinking about all this healthcare talk going on....especially when I'm in the middle of it, big time, the last 2 years. God forbid some individual is given the authority to grant the healthcare I need let alone want. How dare this individual or group have a different thinking, favoritism toward some ideology, that believes my life or medical treatment should change or stop at 50, 60 yrs of age, or any number! We already have this on the front end with abortion where the individual being aborted doesn't get consulted!!!
WOW.........I understand why 'Favoritism is Forbidden". Who would ever show you mercy to be treated according to your wishes or even allow you the right to live? What about that loved one that isn't deemed necessary due to cost on society or color of hair. Where and when would it end..........if ever! THINK

What a difference Friends Make !!

2009-07-31T09:38:00.000-07:00

"Come over and have a cup of coffee this morning"....ever hear those words?
I don't very often but when I do there is always a blessing involved, on the other end. Personally I've taken friends for granted for too many years until I was diagnosed and have been wrestling with this thief..(Cancer).
But I've learned just how important friends are and can be...WOWOW! That includes you guys on this site also. Getting back to the story earlier mentioned...I went for coffee. Of course when I arrived they had bacon, sausage, eggs, toast, fruit and coffee.
It was a wonderful time and I felt 10 times better when I left than when I showed up. They can never know how much their hospitality means to us who are suffering in one fashion or another. These are christian friends so on the way out the door they prayed for me.....what a send off. GOD IS GOOD!
I pray you can call someone up and invite them over...or go out for a cola. Anything is great and both of you will be blessed
In the bible it states "we are to show hospitality at all time because we entertain Angels unaware".. Maybe you will be in this situation....think about it.
God bless.

Wild Thing?

2009-07-29T19:12:00.000-07:00

There's an old song by that name...'WILD THING'. My doctor and I had kind of a heart to heart conversation yesterday...this is my chemo week.
He was telling about the chemo not being effective and that sooner or later, if that happens, I will just be off of it and that's how things are. Life will then play out as life always does. Then he proceeded to talk about scheduling me for CAT scans in two weeks. I haven't had one in 4 months. He wants to see what's going on inside of me.
He said I look so healthy but some of my test on the blood are in the low range etc. But he went on to talk about 'Oncogenes'. These are the genes that turn on or off cancer. He wants to test mine and see if I am a candidate for some new experimental chemo medicine.
The kind of gene I need is called 'Wild Thing', believe or not. I hope I have all this correct. Anyway I started thinking about the old song Wild Thing I think I love you.....(Showing my age now).
I turn all of this over to God and see what's on my plate next. Til then prayers as always and believing HIS every word....it's worked for me for decades.
So think positive thoughts about 'WILD THINGS'...ahahaha
God bless

Pruning

2009-07-27T08:41:00.001-07:00

Do you ever think about pruning? I did some of it this morning. Finished up my back yard and now it looks clean cut, orderly, pretty, like someone takes pride in this yard, and most of all someone made it so things can grow better and be healthier.
Once in a while we need pruning. My personal life gets all cluttered with junk I brought on my self. But it finally gets so hectic I have to set down and start cutting ties to certain projects and people. Why do I do this to myself? What's even worse is I keep repeating the process.....isn't that a definition of insanity?
So, the word for the day is 'Pruning'....when your life is in chaos think about a little pruning job on yourself. If your really up for a great pruning job to be done on you allow the 'THE MASTER' (Jesus) to prune you. This is done by spending a little daily time in the word so it can cut all that clutter out of your mind, soul, and spirit. It works! By the way I had to let him prune on me some this morning after I got done with the yard.
You know the old saying...'What's good for the goose is good for the gander'. When was the last time you allowed God's word a few minutes of your day to set things right for you???? God bless and have a great day...I WILL!

Putting on the Game Face

2009-07-25T04:26:00.000-07:00

RUN DON"T WALK TO THE NEAREST CURE! The crowd was not bad but unfortunately it was larger than last year. Purple shirts everywhere along with the purple cowboy hats that they wanted us to wear this time.
Of course I am talking about the American Cancer "Run for Life" outing here in my area. I did go and had the free meal, got the shirt, and met some new friends. One of them is what is called a 'Hero for Life'. He spoke about his walk with cancer, the experimental medicine that may have cured him. GLORY TO GOD.
After the event last night I got to thinking about all of it and what exactly is this Walk or Run For Life event? What are people really thinking? What about us older adults, the younger adults, and most of all to see a young face wearing a purple Tee Shirt?
Awareness is brought to our frailty and demise, sooner or later. Not only for us who are in the shirts but also our beloved 'Caregivers'. Then of course I feel like some of the rest are onlookers of this herd of purple. God only knows what is really going through their heads. I used to be one of the latter.
I have found, for me, that the closer to the inner circle that people are the greater the hope and grief exist for you and them. This presents quite a paradox in everyone's world. Can both exist harmoniously?
So was there harmony at last night's event? I think there was for that small moment in time. But truthfully many were putting on their Game Face.
Personally I pray that the crowd of purple is smaller next year due to this experimental medicine that is suppose to Cure. This medicine only comes about with your help of finances so please, if you feel led, donate to the American Cancer Association.
The only way that I want to see a larger crowd in purple shirts is to celebrate that big word that is on the back of them........."SURVIVOR". For me, as a christian, by God's Grace may I become what HE calls in the bible...an Overcomer'. I'm striving to be the Overcomer not just a Survivor. God bless you on your walk with this or any situation. Please leave comments and questions. Share with us your situation.

Hungry

2009-07-23T21:34:00.001-07:00

Hungry
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

There he sat, by the overpass bridge, leaning against the light signal post. Beard untrimmed and clothes very worn but he was not dirty. Always looking at the ground instead of the passerbys. The cardboard sign in hand had the word 'HUNGRY" scribbled on it......right below that were two more words..."SEMPER FI". What I did next, when I got beside him at the stop light, is my business....He was a Vietnam Vet.
This had to be done with and ink pen and in my moleskine book...NFS. I couldn't get his face out of my head til I put it in the book...with honor. Just when I think I have problems the LORD allows me to see a different type of suffering and I see better then. GOD BLESS
7th and Broadway, K.C. Missouri.

Jul22Art Capt Elaine

2009-07-23T07:12:00.001-07:00

Jul22Art
Originally uploaded by CaptElaine

I kinda like how my fish turned out... Hey guys look at this sketch from one of our very own. Isn't this great!!! You talk about cheering you up, if this doesn't do it I just don't know what will. The art here is definitely a healing piece and I'm sure a healing process.
Maybe we'll get lucky and have Elaine comment. By the way I borrowed this off her site without asking...........Elaine forgive me but I just had to post it.
I'll delete it if you want but don't be mad at me.
God bless and all of you get out there and write and doodle....use Elaines here as an example.

My Caricature Bird Friends

2009-07-22T15:30:00.001-07:00

Caricature Birds_edited-1
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

There I was in the middle of the woods enjoying the cool of the air and the sounds of nature. I had no drive to draw but these guys kept getting louder and floating through the tree tops....that's right they were just kids. Trying to fly and look good for the day was not their best suit yet.
So I took out my pen to get even and only had the back of a email paper in my paper. I cut them out and here they are......caricatures for sure....my friends.
enjoy........This is really a healing process.

Turquios Skies

2009-07-20T10:43:00.001-07:00

Turquios Skies
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

This is a quick sketch I did while on vacation a few weeks ago. The sky was so turquoise color and my favorite birds, Ravens, soaring on the hot air currents. Man I wish I could soar like that. Ground colors are so magnificent there. I can't wait to paint this someday.
I did this in my aquabee, 5 X 7 sketch book. On this particular page I had a prior wash of matte medium and water before drawing. Ink and watercolor sketch outside of Taos, New Mexico. En Plein aire painting is always a treat for me.
Now go journal and some art if you want. GOD BLESS>

Terminal?

2009-07-18T08:43:00.000-07:00

We all have friends and some are more close than others. Two of mine are going through rough times since they have been told they are terminal. One was just told this past week.
So I was chatting with each separately and trying to give them some perspective from my own experience but who knows. The point being that the more we are up front and talking out loud the better it is for all of us. You just can't let the 800 pound gorilla to set around in the room all the time. We must kick its butt out the door and move on with what life we have left.
But from my view point we are all terminal and have been since the day we were born. If anyone has lived any amount of time and never knew that they were dying has been in a closet. Oh yes I know that we don't talk about it because the taboo is, that would be negative. The truth is it's freedom!
This freedom brings more concentration on the life we are given and how precious it is. We must all redeem our time someday. The question will be what did you do with your time and I am not talking about all the work acquiring the mercedes or the big home. NO, I'm talking about the quality and joy of life that is there for each of us and especially in bearing one anothers griefs and joys.
I know we all can have our own little pity parties but get over it because you'll have the same problem as when you started and the pity party didn't do a thing for you.
Am I sounding tough here? I hope not. Maybe we'll call it tough love talk.....but I just believe, again my viewpoint only, that it is better to talk out loud and acknowledge that none of us know, with certainty, if we'll be here tomorrow or next month.
I had a friend ask how it felt being told you're terminal. So I gave him my terminal speil above and then asked him.."How's it working for you being terminal"? He, of course, didn't know what to say and left with a deep thinking look on his face.
Anyway, I hope you get the jest of my blog here.......God bless

Who is Looking over YOU ?

2009-07-13T08:19:00.000-07:00

WOW! I was just sitting there, around midnight, on my easy chair. BOOM! , the whole house shook....I thought we had been bombed. My dog, Bandit, came running from his bed in a scurry and the wife was hollering from the bedroom as to 'what happened?'.
Well we all sat quietly waiting for the next sound but nothing came. So our scouting around the house, trying to figure out the shaking of our house and windows, started in great earnest. But nothing to be found but unrest for us all night... thinking we all imagined this great BOOM.
Daylight came and out the door Bandit and I went so he could do his duty. Across the street is the monument for our subdivision. To my surprise it was all busted up as if a car had hit it. Upon investigation there were no tire marks, umphf. Scratching my bald palate my eyes started wondering and behold! At a 45 degree angle and across the other street set a pair of big wheels off of an eighteen wheeler.......WHOA!
I got the neighbor up and the only thing we can figure is they came from quite a distance.....off the interstate above us. Can you believe it? Upon inspection we could see the brakes, bearings, and apparatus were still attached to the drums. This was unbelievable because these double wheels are so heavy and coming at a high rate of speed and force to bust down a solid concrete and brick monument sign and then get back across the road to the location we found them....well it was too much to try and comprehend.
Thinking of how these could have come through a wooden wall of a home and killed any one of us was disturbing to say the least. The neighbors never felt or heard anything due to being asleep. But with the jolt that we and the house received made us even more thankful.
So Who is Looking over YOU? LIFE is so short! Well we took a few minutes and thanked God for our saving experience. I pray someone is always looking over all of us, even for the small stuff. LOL
Now go journal about something important to you this day....addios' me amigo.

After the Party

2009-07-12T17:09:00.000-07:00

There's always the time 'After the Party'. My party of chemo is over again, I think, because with lingering side effects it's just one of those things that just keeps on giving.
Anyway I feel so much better today than I have since last Tuesday...thank you Jesus.
This treatment seemed a little rougher than most.....don't know why. The diarrhea and constipation have been worse but if that's all I have to deal with bring it on........amen.
A buddy of mine was told this week that he may have prostate cancer and it has already moved to his lymph nodes and possibly his bones. God forbid! but can you believe the doctors laying that on you, sending you home for the weekend, and they haven't even finished the tests or gotten any definite answers back. So I spent some time trying to talk him back from the brink of total depression. Sometimes these doctors must get so jaded and speak to you like you're just another case. While all the time I am waiting for them to say NEXT! This isn't all the doctors but quite a few because I have fired a couple because of no HOPE in their speech toward me, so I said NEXT DOCTOR PLEASE!
The world is difficult enough with the diagnosis without having people who treat you almost indifferent.
Thank you for letting me get that out of my system but maybe you and others are going through this. IF you are I pray for all the positive things in the world to come your way and hope this community helps you somehow.
Let us all know!
Happy trails until I see you again.......now go journal or art. Thanks to all of you for your comments to the blogs.......YOU"RE GREAT!!!!!!!!!!
LOL!

Unplugged !

2009-07-09T07:14:00.000-07:00

Imagine being tethered to a stake in the ground like a dog. You do move around some but not much and of course it is always something you must work around.
Your internal psyche is telling you that when it does a systems check that this does not belong.....disengage. It almost reminds me of the old program 'LOST IN SPACE'. If you remember the robot would go around saying..'DANGER WILL ROBINSON,Danger!'. Well that's about the way it is for me when I am on this chemo pump for three days.
My body is saying this doesn't belong here. So what does that have to do with 'Unplugged'? Well it is always a glorious day when I get this needle out of my chest and leave this pump with them....the doctor.
My system, if you will, resets itself and after little while the whole world starts to look different again and I am FREE AT LAST! THis is the day for my unplugging and then in a few days we repeat it until something changes. GOD IS GOOD!
Talk to you soon, til then get to journaling or doing your art because it promotes all types of healing.
Well I'm back and it's 4:25pm CST. My CEA test numbers were back from the lab and the tumor count went up to 9.1. They want it between 0 and 2.5. Praise God it wasn't a higher number. I'm off to draw and paint something....see you soon.

Good Day

2009-07-07T05:28:00.000-07:00

Good morning group and hope all is safe and getting healthy. Just a note that I won't be blogging for a few days because I go on chemo again today for a while. I'll yell at you when I'm up and running.
God bless

BANG! July 4th, 2009

2009-07-04T06:41:00.000-07:00

Thanks to our creator for allowing us to have this holiday to celebrate the FREEDOM that many people on this earth know nothing about.
It rained about 2 inches here late last night but not until some people in the neighborhood set off lots of fireworks. It was banging and booming all around and my little Jack Russell was going bonkers with the noise. Then the poor guy got hit with lightning, thunder and rain.....you can imagine his take on the holiday.ahaha
So what are you going to do today! Maybe you'll have family in or you'll go out and do something....whatever, be sure to journal and maybe try and sketch. Allow yourself to relax in the moment.
The last blog was about renewing and by allowing yourself to shed yesterday and tomorrow you can be in the present and relax with the now....get that healing and peace (Shalom) that we all need. Shalom is a term that means 'total peace' in every area and in every way of your life.
I'm going to post my newest painting from some sketches I did on our vacation in northern New Mexico.
God bless
SHALOM
Ricky

Renewing ?

2009-07-02T06:59:00.000-07:00

Just what is renewing to you? It could be several things but I can only speak for myself. As a christian it means a renewing of my mind with the word of God. By doing this on a daily basis it becomes more and I become less. So what does that do for me and you?
When the mind gets renewed (whether positive or negative criteria) the body will follow suit....wow! So if I want positive things I must ingest positive food and this causes healing mentally, physically and spiritually.
This not only effects me but my environment around me due to the law of reciprocation. Some of you may know this law in a different term such as...' what goes around comes around'.
So my goal today is to get you to ponder on these things and believe by taking action and watch things change for you. If you don't have this kind of material I would suggest the book of John in the New Testament of the bible.
When I was on vacation and viewing all the sights of God's creation it was a healing experience in every way.....so much positive to think upon and renew my mind. One such thought was..'how can anyone look upon these mountains and trees, skies, birds singing and flying around, the beautiful wildflowers and not believe that there is a supreme designer somewhere'. This did not all happen by chance and in my case I call that designer God of the bible.
God bless
Happy trails til we meet again.......I'm off to write and draw. You do the same.

Taos Ravens 1

2009-07-01T08:49:00.001-07:00

Taos Ravens 1
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

I just love these big ole Ravens. They are gorgeous to me and when they squawk their throat feathers ruffle all up giving them such texture. The sooty carbon black does show some beautiful colors in the wings if you look close.
The mountains are full of these guys and I couldn't get enough....
This is just a quick ink brush drawing done while they were fighting on top of a dumpster. I swear some of guys were the size of an old buick! ahahaha.
Enjoy if you like quick brush sketches. Do some sketching and get some healing going. God bless

Taos Rhododendron 1

2009-06-30T13:41:00.001-07:00

Taos Rhododendron 1
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

Here's one of my sketches from vacation. This is done in one of my little journals. Can you see how much I was enjoying myself with the watercoloring of this flower? Let the healing begin...God is good. Now go do some journaling or copy this flower for your own enjoyment. Use colored pencils, crayon or whatever floats your boat.
God bless
Ricky

I'm BACK!

2009-06-29T15:54:00.000-07:00

Hey fellow friends.......I'm back from a glorious vacation. WOWOW! We took off on a Friday, the day after getting unplugged from chemo. I made it to Trinadad, Colorado from Kansas City. That night, laying in bed, I said "Lord what have I done here?" I was fighting diahrhea, fatigue and wondering why I thought I could make a trip this far from home. But I wanted to go back to where we feel at home...Taos, New Mexico.
We were getting ready to move there, a little over two years ago, when I was diagnosed with this demon. So everything was put on hold and here we are today. But GOD is good and I made to Taos finally. After two of three days the chemo started to reside and I was feeling better day by day. In fact by the time we were leaving I was feeling the best I had ever felt in a long time.
This trip was the best medicine in a long time for me.
I stopped off in Cimarron and saw some artist friends and now I have to do a one or two week workshop next June for the art community there. So....God willing I will return and do this.
I sketched and took a ton of photos for painting reference in the future. You'll get to see some of these as the weeks go along.
Out of all this I found out I need to push myself more physically and HOW much you guys mean to me. You guys wrote some wonderful comments under the last two blogs and I thank each of you and especially for your prayers.
Art and journaling is such a healing gift given to us and we should all take more advantage of it.
God bless each of you and I'll start blogging again soon and welcome to all our new followers....please feel welcomed to comment because this site is about you. GOD BLESS....LOL

Vacation!!!!!

2009-06-18T17:51:00.000-07:00

Hey friends,
I got unplugged again from chemo yesterday and my doctor said my platelets are really low and the only way to get them up is give me some space between treatments.
As you know it is every 14 days for 3days 24/7 for me but he said don't come back for 3 weeks....Praise the LORD.
I've decided to try and make it to Colorado, and spend time at Taos and Santa Fe. I haven't been able to go there for 2 years so I am excited.
I plan on getting some art material and just RR with the wife. You know the colors and vistas are going to be so special this time around....Excited I am!
I'll post when I get back....so don't leave me..
God bless
Ricky

This is a test

2009-06-17T14:33:00.000-07:00

Every now and then we must run a test to see if any one is following this blog. Please comment below this blog with a comment of yes or whatever you feel. I will check back to see if its doing anybody any good. Thanks

Learning

2009-06-15T07:32:00.000-07:00

Learning is a growing process........so if we aren't learning we are not growing and if we aren't growing we eventually start decaying. WOW! Can you handle that statement? Are you guilty of putting off that awkwardness of trying something new?
I am talking about this process of journaling and doodling/art. Ask yourself why you haven't started yet or started and stopped? Is it to hard to start something new or is it..."I don't know that I believe what's being said here."
All of the above is a process we go through so it is all good...it is when you stop striving for the answers or process. It's hard to do something that is good for us....better food, more exercise, setting time aside for yourself, and in reality all of these not only benefit you but benefit those around you like a rock into a pond and the ripple effect it causes.
I pray you will get going with something that will help heal you mentally, spiritually and physically.
Choose you today what you will do.
God bless

LOOKEY!

2009-06-12T10:22:00.001-07:00

Jun11Art
Originally uploaded by CaptElaine

LOOK at Captn Elaines art journal. Gang you must get on board with this theme.......I'm loving it. Great job Elaine.......YOU are an inspiration to us all.

Visual Language ?

2009-06-11T06:13:00.000-07:00

I hope all are well because after another night of glorious rain the air is clean this morning....birds are so loud ........and the grass so full of chlorphyll and water I think the green could almost rub off on me. Oh well that's not all bad. What I really want to do is take my shoes and socks off and walk out in the wet grass just to feel it like a kid again.......ok?
Let's talk Visual Language because medical field has found out that words are a secondary language for us.....you heard it correct.........a secondary language.
Our primary language is visual inner imagery. This is how we communicate inside of ourselves between body and mind.....WHOOF! That's a lot to take in until you meditate on it for a while and then it starts to make sense.
This is why doodling along with journaling gets the inner language into an expressive language (writing and art) that we can start to see what our Holistice self is saying on a daily basis. In other words we are starting to listen to our bodys in a way that can HEAL us!
That's all I'm going to say today because this is very important info to digest and it will take some time.
Praying for each of you and I'm off to journal some and doodle.....are YOU?
Happy trails until we meet again........God bless.

Congratulations Captn Elaine !

2009-06-10T06:53:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Elaine, a follower of this blog, for her second anniversary since her bout with kidney cancer JUNE 4th. Elaine we are so happy for you and are praying for your continued health and healing in this area.
Elaine is a journaling and artist person. You can go to her flickr account and see all kinds of great stuff.
Some of you have read some comments she leaves at different times. We welcome all of these from all of you. This is a community we are trying to build here that will enhance all of our lives one day at a time and one journal at a time.
Click on Elaines picture under followers in the side bar and go to her places. You can do this with most any of our followers. Thanks guys.

Ink Pen

2009-06-10T04:30:00.001-07:00

Challenge
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

My Friends, I pray literally that this day finds you better in all areas of your life.
Here is a small black and white pen sketch I did in a small sketcbook. I used a ball point pen and black marker. This is all you need to sit around and let your imagination make different marks. Most of this is scribbles.
Yes I know the face takes some practice but pick an object in your house or the tree bark to practice.
This was a drawing challenge off of flickr. So someone furnished a picture for us all to try and draw.
My web site link will take you to flickr or just click on this photo.
Let's have your comments please.
God bless.

Rain on my parade!

2009-06-09T05:13:00.001-07:00

Man Made Dam Sketch
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

Friends,
Another day and GOD is so good! Walking this morning with the blue sky, 6 a.m., cool breeze on my skin and in my lungs, birds singing like an orchestra who is warming up before the main gig starts, the sight of Gods wonderful creation around me, colors, values, textures, edges both soft and hard, and being able to be in this is over whelming to me at times. Since my illness I thank HIM for putting what's important in life in its proper perspective for me. How much of this I missed by being in a hurry doing other things thru the years.
What am I saying.....just this.........be in the present moment totally because yesterday is gone, we don't own tomorrow, and we are to not be anxious for anything for today has enough troubles on its own. This is biblical.
My truck I painted yesterday is posted here for you to see. GOD BLESS!
I couldn't believe I ran in to this today. Rained all night here and then when I'm out sketching I got rained on several more times.. This page got wet numerous times but again the subject was unique in the middle of woods.
Why they used this old truch and debris to dam this creek I still haven't figured it out. But boy it made the water gurgle from underneath......neat sound while doing a quick watercolor and pen sketch.....there may even be pencil in there. I started and stopped too often and that old red oil barrel holding up the front end sounded like a drum when rain drops hit it. COOL and fun. I hope to do some type of painting composition of this sketch soon. Moleskine sketchbook.

Irish Gentleman

2009-06-08T06:17:00.001-07:00

Irish Gentleman
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

Hey Gang,
Here's a sketch that anyone can do...........by that I mean there are people around us all the time. Ask them to pose for 5 minutes. You'll find out that over time you will get faster and learn what you need to look for to make a picture. Concentrate first on a specific element such as the eyes or nose, mouth etc.. Just practice the parts and then practice putting them together.........TRUST ME it will work for you. More on this in a later blog.
Great day again and we had storms overnight but if it wasn't that it would be drought so go figure....thank GOD for taking care of us.
Now get out there and write, doodle, paint, draw and send some comments this way so we know how we are doing. GOD BLESS

Journaling Affirmations

2009-06-07T07:49:00.000-07:00

Hey gang,
It's Sunday and we just got home from church....what a glorious day on my side of the planet.
The message was on saying things, rather positive or negative, that will affect us and our situations. In Proverbs 18:20 scripture says that Life and Death are in the tongue........wow! So think about that and meditate on what comes out of our mouths and what do we write in our journals is important. We must capture our thoughts to our benefit.
Dr Dwayne Dyer says we can change anything with our thinking correctly if we put belief behind it....faith some would say. As a christian I believe the scriptures to be truth so I have to agree with Dr Dyer. Many of our art therapy professionals say the same thing but maybe in different words, staying away from the religious aspects of this. But however we word it, the truth of it is not negated.
With that said let us pick up our journals and write what needs to get out of us, but then make sure we end with affirmations for ourselves about those conditions. For example I write about my treatments and may have had a rough week but end with the affirmation that I am getting stronger daily and try to describe myself healthy......then visualing seeing myself healthy, as described and going about my business. Dr Dyer saids this is most important the last 5 minutes prior to falling off to sleep. This allows the subconscious to dwell on the positive all night and not the problems. Our subconscious doesn't know truth except has we relate it to our minds. So our thoughts and affirmations should be on the positive and not the negative because soon the body follows the mind.
Don't ask me how this all works........all I know is it does and there's lots of years of proof of it even in the bible.
Hoped this was informative and not preachy.....God bless and let us hear from you.
See a picture of the little watercolor palette and brush I use for my doodling and painting.

Rolling Hills

2009-06-05T08:17:00.001-07:00

Rolling Hills
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

Hey Friends....thanks for hanging around this week. Yes I am feeling better now that I got unplugged yesterday from the chemo. GOD IS GOOD TO ME!
I celebrated yesterday with this watercolor sketch and wrote all kinds of things in my journal. I pray you are doing the same.
If you have questions etc.. please comment. Thanks Ricky.
Saw this view and thought what a nice painting that will make someday. So, I proceeded to do my watercolor sketch for some future motivation to turn this into a full sheet. This is appox 11 X15 on 140lb CP paper. Like all sketches not everything turned out how I wanted but that is why we do preliminaries.....right. Try, try and try again. The healing is in the process not the end result. Enjoy.

Red Panda

2009-06-03T18:26:00.001-07:00

Red Panda
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

Hey Friends,
This is what I did today while trying to sit with this chemo pump. Some of you know how this is. Anyway it's a little sketch and lucky it turned out at all because I haven't slept since getting up Tuesday for clinic. The steroids and stuff they pump in me doesn't help the old sleep department. Maybe tonight with any luck. Good news though...the doctors office called this pm and said my CEA (tumor marker number) is down again...Praise the LORD...going the right direction.
This is the cousin to the GIANT PANDA, big and black and white. Red Panda here is always confused with the Fox or Raccoon family but it's not. He travels the same bamboo forest as his cousin. The Himalayas and two provinces in China is where you will find him.
Watercolor and ink sketch.

Doctor Office 1

2009-06-01T13:02:00.001-07:00

Doctor Office 1
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

Well, I pray all is fine with everyone. I had a nice day yesterday but my little dog got his foot stepped on. We are going to the vet today and see if it is broken...God forbid.
Tomorrow I will be going to Chemo for the next few days so I will not be around to blog.
You guys must comment and carry on, if you will, til I return to duty. I would love to see a lot of comments when I get back. Let me know how you are doing or if this blog is affecting you in a positive way.
Happy Trails until we meet again........Ricky

Red Footed Booby Bird

2009-05-28T10:20:00.001-07:00

Red Footed Booby Bird
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

Well friends here is my picture for the day and some journaling on another page of how I felt about doing this and even about this blog site and some of your comments. So I've had my healing session and feeling better for it. What do you have to say???
Moleskine Sketchbook of this bird. These birds are fantastic looking. It morphs in color until adulthood. The feet are bright red, body white with black outer mark and the bill is a beautiful pale blue. This is a sea bird and they get up to 2.5 feet tall. I think they look very nice. Found on Eastern Island, Midway, ...and Hawaii. Which is where we took a photo of this guy/girl. They nest in shrubs and in this case an Ironwood tree in the National Park. Nest made out of big twigs for a big bird...enjoy. This is the biggest of the boobies. haha

Art and Healing

2009-05-27T08:13:00.000-07:00

Hey Friends,
On the heals of Memorial Day and watching the people in the cemeteries etc. it was a real eye opener again of what we are trying to accomplish here. We need to be dedicated to what we do and get the word out to others. We are all hurting and under stress one way or another.
Stress is the direct cause of over 40 major diseases as of today.
Below I have copied a few sentences from a special book of mine.:
Title: Art and Healing, author is Barbara Ganim. copyright 1998.. ISBN 0-609-80316-6. I don't know if it is still in print or not. But if you want to dig deep into this subject it is a great book and just one of several I have studied over the years and apply.
Read it and meditate upon what is said here by her, a medical professional.
Happy Trails until we meet again.....Ricky

"Through the ages, artists have known intuitively what others are just beginning to discover: creating a visual image on paper or canvas, with clay or through any art medium, can produce physical and emotional benefits for both the creator and the viewer. And now thanks to extensive research in the fields of split-brain functioning, visualization, and psychoneuroimmunology (study of the emotions on the immune system), we are finnally able to understand how this powerful healing tool can be used by anyone, even those without the slightest trace of artistic ability, to create profound changes in their lives and activate healing at the deepest levels. Psychotherapists, medical caregivers, and educators have rediscovered art as a way to heal the emotional wounds created by our internal feeling of fragmentation as well as by our sense of separation from others. Medical science has revealed that when we heal our emotional woulds, we also heal the wounds of the body.
As a result, art is being used successfully to reduce the physiological stress that causes immune system dysfunction by enabling patients to connect with negative, painful, or fearful emotions that are known to trigger that stress. Once these emotions have been accessed through guided visualization, the emotions can then be released by expressing them in imagistic form through drawing, painting, sculpture, or collage." These are just a few ways. "The mere act of releasing these emotions through art enables the immune system to return to a state of full functioning."

In the garden

2009-05-25T13:16:00.001-07:00

In the garden
Originally uploaded by An Illustrator's Life For Me!

Hey Friends,
I wanted to see this....a friend of mine did it. She is on flickr and you need to look at the rest of her stuff. Just click on this picture and go there.
But this is the high point of sketch, page layout, color, calligraphy and use of white space. I can't say enough. Peruse it closely and be sure and leave her a comment and one on this site too.
WHat do you THINK??

Rhode Island Red 1

2009-05-25T07:00:00.001-07:00

Rhode Island Red 1
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

Now here's a watercolor sketch in a journal book about 6" X 8". Sketch the bird out roughly with pencil and then just one stroke at a time put in his color......COPY HIM if you have nothing else and try it. Use crayolas or colored pencil or just pencil. Whatever you have.....feel the fun of the process....not in makiing it look just like mine. We want YOUR chicken. Happy Memorial Day Holiday and to all your loved ones.
Thanks to Captn Elaine for commenting on her sketch.
All of you have had some good comments , please expound on them . Our very own Mary Paquet has been journaling for some time and through difficult times....Mary expound, if you will on your process, how it helped, the materials you used or are using and if there's a way for me to get a piece to blog here let me know how.
Don't forget if you want to email me personally , click on the upper right where it says email. God Bless.

Captn Elaine

2009-05-24T12:02:00.001-07:00

May24Art
Originally uploaded by CaptElaine

Hey group...hope all is finding Memorial Weekend all it's suppose to be. Here is a great page from one of our own....Captain Elaine. Look at the freedom line, color and most of all creativity by using a Letter of the alphabet..." K ". Let her know how you like it and Elaine please comment on this for us...GOD Bless.

Ben Stine

2009-05-22T09:43:00.001-07:00

Ben Stine
Originally uploaded by Ricky Holtman

Well guys here's my attempt to sketch off or TV. I was on Chemo the last few days so I was captured and so was he for a few minutes of his news cast.
You see the fun you can have....it doesn't matter that it doesn't look like him. THis is not a portrait...just fun with a pencil and the creative process that helps in healing.
Tell what you are sketching or having trouble sketching , whatever. Let me know how that journaling going. Email a sketch and I'll try to upload for you..
COME ON! Let's have some fun and healing. No such thing has a bad picture. We all start somewhere. GOD BLESS

Faith?

2009-05-20T07:50:00.000-07:00

How many of you trust this journaling thing? Well let me talk about this for a minute. When you walk into a room and proceed to sit in a chair, you don't give it a second thought that it will hold you up.....WHY? Because of experience of sitting in chairs and they have worked for you. Now there may have been that rare instance that a chair leg has broken off or you tipped over, but other than that you trust them.
This trust did not come except for your experience in this area. The same is with journaling and art.....You must get started and build the frequency of doing it before you can take notice that there is a change starting to happen inside of you that will finally come out and change your very environment. WOW that was a mouth full.
You must motivate yourself in the beginning with EXPECTANCY that journaling is going to perform for you and others and has and is right now. Let me say it this way. Expectancy of change or hope thru journaling is the gasoline that motivation is propelled by. Out of the doing comes the experience or trust in journaling [like the chair]. After a short while the whole thing will increase you Faith in what we are trying to promote on this site....journaling for healing. Your faith then takes over and actually increases the outcome of the process.
In other words....YOU have to start pushing the car to go and the inertia you have to overcome at the beginning will be strenous...BUT...once that car is moving it doesn't take much effort to keep it rolling.
I hope all of this makes sense and I am writing on the process of journaling because of some comments that came up on another site.
While mentioning comments be sure and post yours.........what you think about the above...your experience....how is your journaling going.....any questions about the art side...??
Remember you don't have to have had cancer to comment on this site....all are welcomed....cancer is just what is in the title of this site and is my ailment at this time. There are many ailments just as bad...so weigh in with your thoughts for day or questions. Tell your story right below this blog if you want.
Now get out there and get some healing going. Next we may chat on stress and how journaling helps in this area.
God bless and I leave with a line from one of my heroes..ROY ROGERS'...."Happy Trails To YOU Until We Meet Again".

Thank You Chris Beck!

2009-05-18T06:44:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful life this can be. Life is like a railroad track....one track you have trial and tribulations going on in your life and the other rail has blessings. All at the same time, and I prefer to concentrate on the blessings...the other never worked well for me.
That blessing is Chris Beck and all those who come to this blog through her or others. Thank you Chris, again, and thanks to all you new followers and the comments you are leaving. I can't wait to become better friends as time goes along.
Isn't it great to come together in a common cause! Sharing through the written word and visual imagery that is inside of each of us. Getting that back outside to where it changes you and world is a wonderful journey. May God bless this journey for each of us on this blog and in other ways.
Another blessing coming is a new contributor as agreed to write and share her art. Her name is Cathy,'Kate' Johnson. Some of you may own some of her books already. I won't spoil it by saying more because I want her to introduce herself. You'll love Kate. It may be a couple of weeks before she can start blogging.
Another writer who has agreed is Chery Holtman. Chery heads up many art committees and teaches pottery at school grade level, adult education, and university level. I'll let her introduce herself in time also.
So, exciting times for you and me. But it's your comments and sharing that make this blog.
You know my next question is........"Are journaling or drawing yet?". Get it dusted off or go purchase one.....this crank it up and start on the HEALING JOURNEY TOGETHER.
I'll share my watercolor sketch from yesterday above. While painting it is part of my art therapy against my illness. Prayer of course being number one.
Don't forget your comments and whatever you want to say or ask. God bless

BLessing for YOU!

2009-05-16T06:43:00.000-07:00

Just yesterday we were writing about 'Choice', basically changing our thinking and attitude in a shorter time span. WHY?, because things change when we do.
We should always be LOOKING UP for things to happen to us in a good way. Have an aire of expectancy at all times for the good in our situation and our fellow man.
I woke up this morning to a great blessing to you and me. Chris Beck, a renowned artist, wrote about this site on her blog. WOW!
Since we are a new blog this benefits us all to get the word out. So people can learn what we are about and come together as a community that shares and cares.
I personally want to thank Chris for this.As you go to her blog and look at all the beautiful things she is doing leave a comment and become a follower. To own one of her paintings and be able to sit and meditate on it daily would bring great joy to your spirit. Her colors and composition are beyond believable. The blog title is "I'm painting as fast as I can." and the article title is "Journaling Through Cancer".
Please check out the comments under the article also, they are precious. Remember again, this site is not about me but US....your participation through comments and your art. Please leave comments and again please thank Chris for what she has done here. It was no small measure.
It's a sunny day and all is well.....amen. Now get those journals out and write about whatever or how this blog and Chris' blog has affected you.....then doodle something or draw a picture. If you use color, think about what colors and temperature we would want to express a wonderful experience such as this.
Please share this site with as many people as possible. The more input the better. I'm leaving a picture of mine for today. The primary colors show how I feel.
God Bless.

CHOICE

2009-05-15T14:43:00.000-07:00

The day is rainy and I've already received 3 inches of rain and lots of hail in just 4 hours. WOW! How gloomy can it get....my healing from cancer, stormy dark afternoon [dark as night], government is going nuts, social security and medicare is going broke, blah blah blah blah blah..........man I am really in the dumps!
Is the above you? STOP IT! You are your own worst enemy! When you are thinking this way your body is putting out enzymes and junk that poisons you and feeds that cancer. Since you have a CHOICE in how you think lets start renewing your mind....this is scriptural...Jesus talks about the renewing of your mind with the truth.
This blog is trying to share the truth with you....if you aren't employing it in your life I and others cannot help you. Journaling gives you an outlet to renew your mind and practice giving your body a BOOST at the same time by being creative. Sound familiar to you?
NOW, on with the same question in other blogs.........have you started writing down your feeling and suggesting a color [see other blogs] to go with it/them? Let's get you to your SUNNY condition faster each time you have a moment, like in the beginning of this blog.
Everyone stews in their own troubles.....this isn't new. BUT it's how long you stay in that condition that we are working on. DON"T dismiss what we are sharing with you. Now get in there and write one sentence or a paragraph. If you want, start by complaining about me and this blog of giving you a stern little push. Remember we love you and have some experience in this area.
A friend of mine has her link on this site. Her name is Chris Beck and is a cancer survivor herself and now dealing with a father who has prostate cancer. Go look at the beautiful art at her sight.
Hopefully Chris will share her story with you someday.
God bless for today. GOD LOVES YOU whether you like or not...John 3:16

The Goldfinch

2009-05-14T06:43:00.000-07:00

Yes I was doing my plein aire painting and kept looking at this tree....."did someone put christmas ornaments on the tree?" No, as my eyes got adjusted it was a whole HERD OF AMERICAN GOLDFINCH! I had never seen that many in my life. What a blessing that was....all I could do was stare and get my binoculars out. Thank GOD the sun wasn't playing tricks on my old eyes. This is a watercolor approximately 12" X 18"...140 pound cold press paper. Enjoy.
My question to you is........"Are you journaling yet?" I'm waiting for your responses and some followers before I go much farther into ideas etc. for writing. God bless.

Journaling

2009-05-09T15:13:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful Saturday.....the wife and I took a day trip to check out some art. This old historic town is having artisans around the square every second saturday of the month.
Some were weaving and some painting. Not many there yet because of early summer yet but it will grow. This is there second year for it and were had a good time walking around and even going in some of the old stores.
These older towns that aren't very big have a tough time of it. It's good to be able to use the arts as a possible platform to draw people there. But people must remember to support them or they can't keep coming back.
We got back and sunshine and trip had me up and rearing to do some art. So playing around I came across a full size, 15" X 22", watercolor I did in Colorado before coming down ill. This was at about the 10,000 ft level. It was beautiful up there. So I hope you enjoy the art and think about what is written here. This is journaling....YES YOU CAN DO IT! God bless

Art Tip #3

2009-05-08T08:31:00.000-07:00

Hey Friends,
It's another wonderful day.......had rain all night and some wonderful thunder. Thank YOU GOD for another day. Hope you all have started writing and maybe doodling.
In the future we will get into Visual Journaling. The medical field has some books out on this and I will share that info in time. But the tip for today is this.
Take a few minutes before writing and meditate on the day, your feelings, and things that are going on around you. Once this is established in your mind start to write about the most important one and then think of a color you would apply to that situation. Now ask yourself if this situation needs changing and if so, HOW?. Write that down. Having done that HOW do you see how you would feel with it fixed, write those feelings and thoughts. Now what color would it look like to you fixed? Keep this in your mind for any future thoughts toward that situation until it manifests itself changed.
This is what is called sometimes as a paradigm shift others call it visualizing the outcome you want to happen. Either way the release of healing process will start to take place in your mind, spirit and body.
Now get out their and journal and send me your comments.
I do have a separate blog of just my art and some others. That blog is to show art that you can copy style or ask questions specifically art related. Here it is... The Pointed Brush

Art TIp #2

2009-05-07T11:25:00.000-07:00

Hey friends, Hope this finds everyone well. Did you do any journaling or doodling lately?
The medical field of art therapy has plenty of proof about journaling and imagery [doodling]. It's proven to be one of the most therapeutic we can do for ourselves.
Finding drawings on cave walls thousands of years old tell us people were using images long before words. It is proven today that images are still more expressive a language than words will ever be. Remember the saying "A picture is worth 1000 words". It's true.
So, what does this mean to you and me? We need to get off our rear ends and get to writing and doodling. Tell others about this or this website and get with the program.
Some say how do I doodle? Start scribbling....scribble the trash can..your coffee mug....a flower...chair..lamp.GO FOR IT!
Others talk about color....well think about it for a minute...umh..We get our colors from our feelings and this is why we doodle...to express your inner thoughts to the outer environment. For instance if I was going to say, 'I feel sunny today', what color do you think I would color my stick person? What about the other stick person you drew and you wrote, 'they are green with envy'. What color would that be??? RIGHT....green. You see out getting in touch with our images can express things so much better than the words sometimes. But the two work well together.
I got my chemo pump off this morning, you know the needle out of my chest. Well, what color do you think I feel right now? RIGHT ON! pretty sunny right now.
So I went out and picked a sprig of Azelea and did a quick ink pen drawing and colored it with watercolor....does it look like I feel? Sunny and all warm and happy inside from my experience this morning? You bet it shows that. This is what we want to do at any given time of our day or week is get it out there so we can HEAL on the inside and help someone else who may go through your experience.
GOD BLESS!

Art and Doodling

2009-05-06T10:56:00.000-07:00

Here's a new little sketch of the Missouri River. It's approximately 6" X 8" at the most..
It doesn't take much for a quick sketch once you learn. This happens to be watercolor. Some people like using watercolor and others don't. Try colored pencils, crayolas, or just plain lead pencil. Whatever you find that works for you. There is no right or wrong and no picture is better that someone else...it's just different. Never compare yours to mine or others because our experience is different and just like our handwriting, no two are alike. Now get out there and get with it and leave a comment. God bless.

Journaling

2009-05-06T10:42:00.000-07:00

How many of you have gotten your new journal books or gotten the old one out and dusted it off? This site is about the healing process that comes from journaling and doodling.
It's about you not me so start writing every thought that comes to your mind about the situation you are going through.
This site is about going thru cancer.....that can mean a whole host of different people:cancer survivors, caregivers, nurses, parents, spouses, children, pastors, neighbors and etc.. So get on board and start commenting on anyone of these blogs I have written. We need your comments to get this thing kick started. Please sign up to be a follower on the follower box and tell others. About the easiest way to get to this blog is to remember my web site and punch the correct button, Ricky's Blog. There are other buttons of my art and another where I am a correspondent for Sketching in Nature Blog.
Share with us what you may be writing about. These journals are not the same as a diary where you might confess to murder........... it's expressing your feelings and thoughts about the cancer situation and your part in it. The healing comes from the writing process.
Please remember some of you may never written before like this but please trust me and start.
I will try to get some more sketches up for those of you who want to embellish your pages with calligraphy, pictures or try your hand at doodling. Ask an art question if need be that's what this is all about.............Expressing ourselves and gaining healing and a community of like kind friends.

Chemo Treatment

2009-05-06T10:34:00.000-07:00

Well here I am again with a chemo week. I was in the chair for 4 hours yesterday and I 'm wearing the pump until tomorrow. Can't wait to get it off.....if you know what I mean. They did a blood test yesterday for tumor markers in the blood stream, I think they call it CEA. Anyway it comes back tomorrow and we'll get the results. The number has been rising which we don't want. Nothing I can do about it except believe GOD to give me the Grace to deal with it...and HE always has and will. That's one of the nice things about being a christian. Tomorrow is another day. Please feel free to comment and tell us your viewpoints on things.
You don't have to have cancer or had it. We welcome those who are or have been caregivers and anyone who wants to share a comment that will benefit us all. God bless.

Face the Devil

2009-05-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

I pray this finds all of you well. The rain keeps coming down but I have my journal to write in and doodle. Thank God for it because my buddy came by my house to tell me some news. He has been dealing with cancer from Agent Orange [Vietnam Era]. They told him there is nothing more to help him and he has a few weeks or month to live.
You can imagine how the rest of that converstion went while standing in my driveway. This is the cold reality of cancer. Again this is the reason for writing your life down for yourself and those you wish to say something to but can't face to face. Someday they will read it, trust me and you will be happy knowing it was said.
They will know your thoughts on how the day was going for you and even may see a doodle or two of something that will touch them. Cherish it , they will forever.
Please ask any questions or comments and this includes from anybody who is following this blog. You do not have to be a cancer survivor for input.
Our caregivers may want to take up journaling also to share their side of this horrible disease. God bless.

Daisy of a House

2009-04-29T16:50:00.001-07:00

What a day for a daydream.........Rained most of the day and still raining. But God is good so I worked on my journal. Did you work on yours? Have you gotten the material I told you to get? If not, maybe tomorrow.....but get with it soon.
I'm going to show a drawing with watercolor I worked on today. It's approximately 11 X 15". It is an old house outside of town that my wife's great, great grandfather built. Unfortunately the owners are letting it fall in but the character of the house is good for art.
There were daisies in the ditch so I incorporated them into the painting to spruce it up like a bouquet on your table top. Notice there are only the color yellow and the rest are grays and black in pen. It doesn't take much material to make a sketch/painting. It just depends on how far you want to take it.
Please remember to leave your comments and questions. This is a healing process when it comes to the creative process. Go for it. God bless........ Ricky

Beautiful DAY.......Tuesday

2009-04-28T06:33:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful around here and I feel a lot better than I have in the past week. I think the diahrhea has let up and hopefully the soreness that comes with it. Its been raining the last couple of days but GOD is good to give us this mild Tuesday...39 degrees waking up and suppose to be 68 in the late afternoon.
Today I must do some of my art, got to make a living, and blog on some other sites. By the way I blog on "Sketching Nature".
You should sign up as a follower of the site or of my spot on there. This would notify you when things are blogged and how professional journaling is done. On that site the correspondents, like myself, are from around the world and it is strictly a nature site. You'll see some of the top artists, naturalist etc in the world on there and go also to there web sites to learn. I need to get to work now. How is your journal doing? God bless your day.

Tips on Journaling

2009-04-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

God is so good to us. I woke up this morning and the diahrhea is gone after a week. When you have a stoma [colostomy] you just can't imagine how bad this one thing can affect you. Thank God some of you don't.
So what's the best way to start journaling or the HOW-TO? Get yourself a hardbound sketchbook at Barnes and Noble or one of those book stores. The reason I say sketchbook is the lack of lines it presents. This allows you the freedom to roam on the page if you want to doodle you won't be restricted. Size of this book really doesn't matter because everyone likes something different.
Next is to get an ink pen that won't smear with water. Most don't but double check it with a little spit on the finger. If you like color, grab yourself a small set of colored pencils. They are inexpensive and last a long time. Fun is what it is all about.
Now when you get the material the life change begins. This journal is for you.....unless you care to share. It's not something you use for writing a book but for sharing your world and thoughts through the eyes GOD has given you. Let those pent up feelings or thoughts come out. Example could be......... While sitting in the hospital waiting room describe the people around you or their conversations if it is hearable. Try doodling parts of the room or people. No one expects you to be Rembrandt or Walt Whitman, so go for it. Remember it is the process that is the healing for you and what comes out, if shared, can even heal us.
So today get your materials needed. Maybe take a marker and make it personal to you with your name. You can put stickers on it. I've even seen some that are decopaged and some that have had beautiful dress material glued to them. The sky is the limit........now go forth and have a blessed day. God bless.

In The Beginning__Before Diagnosis

2009-04-26T13:40:00.000-07:00

It was late Saturday evening, December 8th, 2007. I had just finished studying my bible lesson for the following morning. Bible teaching is something I enjoy doing and have done for years and some preaching in years long ago.
Suddenly I had to go to the bathroom and there is where my world changed. There was blood starting to show up in the stool and this made me think I must be getting hemorrhoids. Then, like a faucet being opened, blood just started gushing.
I couldn't get it to stop! All I could do was watch the stool fill up.
Instantly my whole essence was saying, "This is not right!" With my brain racing a million miles per hour there was not one thought that would help. Then, looking at the floor, I knew what was changing and that this was it. You know, the moment you leave this world.
Slowly I slid off the stool to the floor and layed my head down. Looking at the tile before my eyes it dawned on me that I was actually starting to embrace this weird phenomenon.
With no concept of time and space I found myself somewhere that was not on earth. Do I dare say it was heaven? Can I say out loud I saw the bright light? How strange also, this something that was happening to me, felt ok.
It was the most delightful incident in my entire life, bar none. I died at that moment in time and came back.
You see, I forgot to tell you that from dying that Saturday night and when I got to the hospital, 4 days had passed. (That is another story you won't believe)
Doctors have asked me all about this dying experience and I will share more with you later.

Diagnosis__Welcome to Hell

2009-04-26T13:19:00.000-07:00

Let me start by telling you I was told December 13th, 2007 that they found two tumors in the colon and both cancerous. It was stage IV advanced and the tumors were at the sigmoid and the rectum area. Along with this it had metastasized to the liver. Their words were, "Mr. Holtman we used to send people home in your situation but we have a couple of new medicines we'll try and at least help the pain."
Since that time,in the beginning, I had 6 weeks of radiation everyday and chemo everyday at the same time.
I lost 78 lbs during that time and any dignity I had. Every test imaginable was given and some twice. Then surgery on April 3rd, 2008 for approximately 4 hours by two surgeons.
Two tumors, Gall Bladder, liver biopsy, and one colostomy later I was out of surgery. Oh yes, they lost me several times in recovery.
I forgot that I also had to go back and get the Porta Catheder put in my chest, which I still use. The reason I still use this is because I go in every 14 days for chemo.
This happens on a Tuesday for 5 to 6 hours and then the pump is hooked to me that pumps 24/7 for the next 3 days. When it beeps I go back to the clinic and get it removed and look forward to what days I have left before this starts all over again. I'll share side effects at a later date.
The real story, which you wouldn't believe, is all the stuff I have left out. It will be coming out in book form around the first of 2010. You'll get a lot of laughs and gasps from all that has gone on. God has been so good to me.
The doctors can't figure out how I am still here, But I know and I'll tell you.

Introduction to Site

2009-04-25T10:15:00.000-07:00

Hello to everyone that may come across my blog. This blog is for cancer survivors and their healing and well being. This will be done through introducing journaling, with and without art, to you and how it is helping thousands to heal.
I am not new to writing or journaling, especially with art and words together. Writing and the combination of your drawings are not new to journals. Both together or separate are acceptable. NO, you do not have to be an artist for this blog but hopefully I can get you to maybe get out of your comfort zone and start writing and maybe start illustrating your story for the healing of yourself and others.
As I proceed with my new blog there will be many times you will see my art and my sketchbook. With any luck the art from friends of mine and hopefully your art will show up here someday.
Yes, I will get into my walk with this cancer they say I have and share my story.
Your comments are welcomed and your viewpoint.........I only ask that there be no profanity etc., this would not be beneficial to any of us or in line with this blog.
Hearing from all of you cancer survivors out there would be a blessing and a gift for all who may come across this blog. Cancer surviving artists, journalists please comment and help out here in your own special way.
As I said earlier I will share my thoughts about what is working for me and is working for others. By no means is this the absolute or the only way for anyone.........just a way. Your healing would be the greatest gift that could come from this blog or to hear the blog is helping you to walk through this trying time.
I pray the testimonies will grow as time goes along.
If something is shared by someone that I deem not appropriate I will delete it. Please do not take offense but this is a blog I take serious and I will try to defend it.